Category Archives: Self Concept

Victimville: You do NOT want to be here

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Victimville is a pathetically huge city in the state of mind. It’s residents live all over world. They come from all races and backgrounds. They are rich and poor, educated and ignorant. They come from good homes and broken families. For the most part, they are good people.

Sadly, too many of us maintain a residence there, or at least a summer cottage. But it’s time to leave Victimville for good.

Recognizing Your Residency

Those who live in, or too frequently visit Victimville, have several similarities. They make excuses, blame others, avoid accountability and allow circumstances to rule their life.

Excuses

Our excuses are crafted and formulated in such a way to place us in the position of victim. We want to avoid accountability for weakness, failure and difficulty. Instead, we must take ownership and responsibility for every part of our lives and our outcomes.

Blaming

Blaming is one of the most common weaknesses among mankind. We blame parents, past experiences, genetics, government, society, and circumstances. The truth is that each of us is powerful beyond our imaginations, and therefore we have no one to blame but ourselves. Life truly is what you make of it.

Accountability

Someone wrote, “The quality of a painting is the responsibility of the painter. The quality of a sculpture is the responsibility of the sculptor. No blame is allowed. Similarly, the quality of your life is your responsibility. No blame is allowed.”

Resolve today to accept total and complete accountability for all your actions and circumstances. Refuse to blame anyone or anything. If you are not satisfied about some aspect of your life, resolve to change it. Do whatever you must, for as long as it takes, until you achieve the kind of life you want to live.

Circumstances

George Bernard Shaw is quoted as saying, “People are always blaming circumstance for what they are. I do not believe in circumstance. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstance they want and if they can’t find them they make them.”

“Man in his weakness is the creature of circumstances; man in his strength is the creator of circumstances. Whether he be victim or victor depends largely on himself.” William George Jordan

Countless men and women have overcome terrible circumstances to climb to places of high achievement and fulfilling lives. Because so many others have done it, you and I know that we can do it too. Do not allow yourself to blame your circumstances. Rather, decide that you will achieve your goals regardless of your circumstances!

Leave Victimville

Life is an absolutely fantastic adventure! Live everyday on purpose. Refuse to settle for mediocrity. Commit to a life of excellence by leaving Victimville and taking complete responsibility for every part of your life.

(Written in British Colombia)

The Captain of the soul

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William Ernest Henley penned these moving, poetic words.

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

To me this poem speaks of a determination to never give up, to absolutely refuse to acquiesce to circumstance.

In one sense, we are in charge; we decide what our life will be.  And yet, in another sense, there is a Captain with far superior rank.  To Him we all must answer!  He is in charge.

The Soul’s Captain

by Orson F Whitney

Art thou in truth?
Then what of Him who bought thee with His blood?
Who plunged into devouring seas
And snatched thee from the flood,
Who bore for all our fallen race
What none but Him could bear-
That God who died that man might live
And endless glory share.

Of what avail thy vaunted strength
Apart from His vast might?
Pray that His light may pierce the gloom
That thou mayest see aright.

Men are as bubbles on the wave,
As leaves upon the tree,
Thou, captain of thy soul! Forsooth,
Who gave that place to thee?
Free will is thine-free agency,
To wield for right or wrong;
But thou must answer unto Him
To whom all souls belong.

Bend to the dust that ‘head unbowed, ‘
Small part of life’s great whole,
And see in Him and Him alone,
The captain of thy soul.

Christmas Gift For Christ

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Father gave us the gift of His Only Begotten Son.  Christ willingly gave His life for each of us.  We can give something back; something that will really please them.

The best gift you could give God, or man, is to make the most of yourself!

How about a promise to give more time and devotion to God this year?  What about more frequent and faithful prayer?  Or more obedience?  Wouldn’t a commitment to spend more quality time with our spouse and children be far better than anything we could buy them?  Of course.  How about overcoming a bad habit and replacing it with a wonderful one?  How about the determination to lose those extra pounds?  These, and others, are by far, some of the best gifts we can give to God and our loved ones this Christmas!  Give the best gift this Christmas… a new and improved you.  Merry Christmas!

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Tough Times Bring Great Ideas

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“Necessity is the mother of invention,” Aesop tells us.  And so it is, IF we are reachable, teachable and touchable.  With the right attitude, necessity can turn on our creative resources and produce incredible results.  But it certainly requires the right attitude and the right thinking habits.  You cannot let necessity crush and debilitate you, and expect at the same time, to create solutions.  You and I must maintain a problem-solving posture and attitude.  Discipline yourself to think about solutions, not to dwell on the problem.

Better yet, let’s try to anticipate necessity.  Take the time to carefully consider what will happen if you neglect your health, your finances, your relationships, etc.  Try to foresee the potential problems and prevent the necessity.   And let that “mental necessity” be the mother of “prevention-invention.”  Train your mind to habitually find solutions.

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You Never Solve Your Problems

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You have to outgrow them!

Carl Jung has been attributed with this wonderful quote, “You never solve your problems, you have to out grow them.”  I love it! You and I have to grow and grow and grow.  And as we do, the problems and challenges that once caused us so much grief will shrink into little disturbances that we can easily handle.

What an empowering thought!  You can outgrow all of your problems! It makes perfect sense.  Let me illustrate with swimming.  If you were to take a man, who cannot swim, and drop him 10 meters off shore, he would have a big problem.  But you have outgrown that problem and could swim to shore, no problem.  Well, what if we took you out 500 meters from shore?  Many of you would have a very hard time getting back to shore alive.  Can you outgrow that problem?  Of course!  I have competed in several short-distance triathlons and so I could swim in from around a mile out, but beyond that, I would have a problem.  Have others outgrown that problem?  Of course!  An IronMan triathlete could easily swim in from 2.5 miles out, and count it as a work out.  You see, it’s all about our personal development, our growth rings.  How big are your growth rings?

Orison Swett Marden wrote, “Obstacles and challenges will seem big or small to you according to whether you are big or small.”  So our obstacles are actually opportunities to see where we are in our growth, and to do something about it!

A great and painful lesson

I vividly remember competing in a tough (for me) triathlon in Costa Rica.  I was not aware that the triathlon was going to take place until about a week before the race.  I had slacked in my training because, as I wrongly assumed, I didn’t have anything to train for.  Well, when the time to perform has arrived, the time to prepare has passed! And I was not prepared.  That triathlon kicked my backside!  I had not outgrown it through discipline, preparation and training.  And so it was bigger than me.  That morning before the race, one of the competitors, who is an IronMan racer, rode his bike about 50 miles BEFORE the race “for a warm up.”  He was definitely bigger than that race.

How do we get bigger?

So we ask ourselves, “How can we increase our growth?”  The answer:  the Law of the Harvest.  You and I will reap what we sow, and in exact proportion as well.

Life is like a garden.  We have to get good nutrients, not only in the body, but in the mind and spirit as well.  We’ve got to pull weeds, mix in fertilizer and get plenty of sun shine….light and truth!  How can we do all this?

The Daily Routine

Failure is fertilizer.  Try new things.  Get out of your comfort zone.  Discomfort is one of the best indications of growth.  Do not stay and vegetate in your little corner of the earth.  Get Out And Live!  And learn and grow from your mistakes and failures.

Input Determines Output.  Feed your mind and spirit with great content.  Study from the scriptures and the best books everyday.  Miss a meal, but don’t miss your daily dose of great truths.  Study the lives of great men and women who have really developed themselves, and model the manner in which they outgrew their challenges.

Pull the weeds.  Get rid of the negative people and input in your life.  Throw away your television and your video games.  Do whatever it takes to keep the porn, the violence and the filth out of your home and out of your life!

We’ve also got to pull the toxic weeds of tobacco, alcohol, drugs and obesity.  They are destroying so many lives everyday.

Exercise and eat well everyday.  Be consistent and vigorous and you will quickly get the results you are longing for.  Discipline yourself to do it.  Don’t let up.  No excuses or “special occasions.”

And most importantly, invite the Light into your life by drawing closer to God.  Seek His help and guidance, spend time with Him and DO what He asks.

If you will work on these habits everyday, I promise that you will experience tremendous growth in your life that will bring you those wonderful rewards that have been reserved for those who are willing to pay the price.  Then, you will really begin to be bigger than your problems.

Please share with us a time when this principle has been true in your life.

The Lion and the Mouse

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Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “In my walks, every man I meet is my superior in some way, and in that I learn from him.”  It is so easy to get caught in the habitual trap of measuring others against yourself, your skills, your knowledge, and even your possessions.  Honestly, this is a lowly way to live.  You are better than that!  You and I can see that we have something to learn from every man, woman and child, no matter where they come from.  Discipline yourself to think well of everyone and learn from them.  Do not allow yourself to puffed up in pride and to set yourself above others.  Setting yourself up, actually lowers your position.

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Please share the valuable lessons you have learned from those who seemed “small.”

The Ass, the Fox, and the Lion

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You don’t have to climb over other people to get to the top.

If you’re in an organization or field that requires that….get out! We want to be people who are always lifting, building and serving those around us.  Do not tear others down to make yourself seem better or feel better.  You and I travel on a higher road than that!  If you desire to really ascend, then you must serve more.  We must stop tearing others down, falsely assuming it improves our position.

The true measure of our success will be determined by the quality and quantity of our service!

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The Moon and her Mother

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Change…. a very constant part of life. :)

Change can be bad, if you’re floundering around without any clarity about who you are and where you are going.  That’s like a ship without a rudder, driven about by the waves and the wind, always changing direction and location, because it has no clear destination.  In this sense, we need to be unchanging and consistent in purpose, and passion, and moving forward toward our most noble objectives.

Ironically, though, as we move consistently along the path of growth and progress, WE are going to change and improve.  You and I will learn new principles and have new experiences that will change us for the better.  That kind of change is great.  Cicero said, “No sensible man ever imputes inconsistency to another for changing his mind.”  We ought to be changing, because we are growing.  You and I have NO BUSINESS being the same as we are today, in a few years from now.

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Life Is Easier When You Are Better

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It’s a rather simple formula: the bigger you become, the smaller your problems will be.  Life is often hard, simply because we are too soft.  The more we discipline ourselves to grow and improve, the more capable and qualified we will be to handle life’s challenges and obstacles.  But if we are too easy on ourselves, then life will be hard on us.

CAVI is an acronym I love to use.  It stands for Consistent And Vigorous Improvement.  When we live by CAVI principles and habits everyday, life is so much more enjoyable, fulfilling and exciting.  Reach Upward!

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Please share examples of how this has been true for you.

The Peacock and the Crane

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I hope you have noticed that there is a pretentious, peacocking pageant going on all around us.  Maybe you’ve even been caught up in it a time or two… or three, or four, or more.

The egotistical desire to compare and compete with our neighbors and peers will retard our personal development and growth.  It keeps us bound to the earth just like a peacock, and prevents us from really soaring in life.

My advice….GET OUT OF THE PAGEANT!  Live independent of the opinions of others and live your life on purpose!  Reach upward and stop looking laterally for approval and praise.   This great fable illustrates this principle so well.

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